let her go
by auslly-is-adorkable
Summary: Ally is accepted in to MUNY but Austin is devastated. *one-shot* *I do not own Austin & Ally*


"_if I asked you to stay, would you go on your way?_"

* * *

"The music university's in New York," Ally says quietly to her friends. She's fiddling with her bracelets uncomfortably. She doesn't want to face them now. She doesn't want to leave after all they've done for her, but she has the opportunity to go to the most prestigious music university in the United States. How could she pass it up. "MUNY, it stands for Music University of New York."

Austin blinks at her, surprised, and sad all of the sudden. Trish stares blankly at Ally, slowly registering the fact that her best friend just basically announced she's moving across the country. Dez looks indifferent, naturally. Austin shakes his head as if he's literally clearing his head. "What do you mean, 'the music university's in New York'," he demands, running a few steps towards his partner. "How could you be going away? Our career's just getting started." He looks down at her, hurt and rejection apparent in his eyes.

"_Your _career is just getting started," she corrects him. "_You're_ releasing your first album tomorrow. I'm not. Maybe this will allow me to have a fresh start. I'm going to work on getting over my stage fright. I have to now."

"It's not my career, Ally," he argues, his voice peaking a higher octave. "It's _ours_. You and I, we built this from the ground up." He places his hands on her shoulders in a wave of desperation. "How am I supposed to do it alone? How?!"

She takes a step back out of his grasp, aware that he's close to crying and scared that she will too. "You can do it, Austin," she says softly, plastering a fake smile on. "I have faith in you." She sniffs a little as tears threaten to fall. "I, uh – I have to go. I need to pack and stuff. I leave after the party tomorrow." She looks from Dez to Trish and finally to the sad boy in front of her, and as she turns to the door, a tear allows itself to slide down her cheek.

Then, even though he's with his other friends, he feels alone, more alone now than ever before in his life. "Austin," Trish whispers, putting a hand on his shoulder in an attempt at comfort. "It's o-"

"No," he lashes, forcefully removing her hand. "It's not okay." He storms out then, slamming the door.

Trish looks up at Dez with teary eyes and for the first time, doesn't mind that he pulls her in for a hug. "I'm going to miss her," she cries in to his chest.

"Me too," he soothes, staring at door. "Me too."

* * *

He doesn't know where he's going, but he doesn't care either. He's getting farther away from the store and that's all that matters. The sun is setting gradually and the streetlights are starting to turn on. The streets are starting to become a little more deserted and people are turning their 'open' signs to 'closed' and locking their doors. It's Saturday night – everything ends early. He keeps walking, singing _Better Together_ to himself while he goes.

He starts to recognize his surroundings again. Same old trees, same old stores, same old burnt out billboards highlighting the streets. He just keeps going, looping the song and feeling disconnected from everything, from life. He didn't want to think about her at all. But then he's back at the Miami Mall, and he's making his way to Sonic Boom, even though he doesn't want to and he knows it's closed. Mechanically, he pulls the key from the potted plant beside the store and lets himself inside. He walks in the dark up to the practise room and turns only the bright 'A' on the wall on, because he doesn't mind the dark.

He closes the door and sits at the piano bench, staring at the familiar keys that only hours ago felt like home. Now, they were nothing to him, meant nothing, because he realizes the only reason they made him happy was because Ally was there to give them life. Without her, there is no music, only silence. And he hates it.

He falls asleep against the piano and doesn't even wake up when his hands accidentally press every key in their vicinity.

* * *

She comes in quietly around three in the morning. She's here to pick up some of her belongings, but sees him sitting there, quietly snoring. She's sad to see him so defeated, and she's sad that she's never seen him so upset until this afternoon. She decides not to risk waking him and just covers him gently in a blanket from the couch. She smiles a little and plants a light kiss on his head before she leaves.

He wakes up as the door clicks and he sees her as she goes through the door. It takes him a split second to register who it is, but the blanket tells it all for him. "Ally?" he whispers questioningly.

She freezes and turns back to see his half-asleep face gazing at her from the piano. "Hi," she says quietly. "I was just leaving, sorry to have woken you." She turns back to leave.

"No, wait," he begs, jumping up from the piano. He hits his knee on the corner of the bench and falls to the ground. "Shit," he breathes.

"Austin," she gasps, practically dropping her things. She runs to his side to inspect his knee. "Aw, it's swelling a little bit. You'll need ice. But you'll be fine before your performance tomorrow." He sits up as she moves to the fridge only a couple feet away, gathering ice and a hand towel from the closet. She wraps them up and lightly applies it to his knee.

His sudden intake of breath at the cold startles her. "Sorry," he whispers painfully.

"Usually _I'm _the klutz," she muses, holding his knee still. "You usually do this for me."

He looks at her seriously. "I won't be able to for long if you're moving," he says. She stops and draws her hand away, averting his gaze. "Who's going to help you then?" he asks, his voice full of sadness and regret.

She resumes inspecting his leg and he winces again. "I'll learn to help myself," she reasons. "I can't be codependent forever."

"Ally, that's not what I meant," he says quickly, afraid he might have offended her. "I mean, you're dropping everything here and moving to New York. I won't be there to give you guitar lessons, I won't be there to help you overcome your stage fright."

"You can't be there for me all the time," she replies, staring at his leg but not icing it anymore.

"Why not?"

"Because you can't, Austin. That's not how it works. Friends are crutches that help heal wounds. They're not air-tight bubbles to prevent them. I'll learn to manage on my own." She gets up and puts the ice away before sitting herself on the couch.

"And what about me?" he demands. He starts to get to his feet. "What if _I _need _you_? What's going to happen then?" he hobbles to her and sits on the armrest.

"You'll be fine, Austin, you always are," she says. She picks at her nails, a new nervous habit she's developed.

"That's bullshit, Ally! I'm only okay when you're with me. I'm only _sane_ when you're with me. When you're with me, music is louder, my smiles are wider, my life is better! Everything... everything is better when you're with me," he tells her, his voice breaking on the last sentence. "Ally, you're the one thing that keeps me going. The whole reason I have an album dropping tomorrow, the reason people know who I am. Before I met you, I was that kid in school that loved sports and was good at music, but people didn't know my name. Then I met you, and it didn't matter what my name was, because now I know your name, and it's my favourite name in the world. Ally Dawson. I don't even know your middle name," he finishes, his eyes dropping to the floor.

"Austin, you've changed my life in so many ways, too, you have to know that. _You're _the one who encouraged me to take this big step," she whispers pointedly.

"I didn't know you'd be stepping all the way to New York," he says defensively.

A tear slips down her face and she wipes it quickly. "Things happen for a reason. Maybe this is for the best." She stands and starts walking to the door.

He jumps to his feet – sort of. "So after everything we've been through, after everything I said, you're just going to leave? You're going to walk away?" He swallows hard and stares at her back, fighting the urge to scream. She continues going, the tears falling heavily. "I-I love you," he whispers. Then she stops. "I love you Ally."

She turns around suddenly. "You think you can just fucking do that Austin?" she lashes. "You think you can just tell me you love me and expect me to give up my dream so we can embrace every terrible cliche ever written and fall hopelessly in love? It's a little late."

"But-" he stammers, shocked.

"No buts, Austin! Not this time. I can't fucking do this. I thought you'd be supportive of me, I thought – I don't know what I thought," she laughs harshly to herself. "I thought you'd do anything but this. You're an asshole, Austin. You're a _fucking ASSHOLE_," she shoves him angrily, hot tears falling on to the carpet mercilessly.

He just stands there, letting her freak out, letting her hit him. He was crying, too. Eventually she stops and just stares at the floor, where it was continually being stained by their tears. He waits a few moments. "Are you done?" he whispers.

She sniffs. "Yes."

"Good," and he takes one short, wobbly stride towards her and wraps her in his arms. She sinks in immediately, completely defeated. He strokes her hair soothingly, holding her with his other arm with dear life. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice slightly muffled by her hair. He squeezes her. "I'm an idiot, and I'm sorry."

She shakes her head but makes no effort to move. "It's okay," she says, crying still.

"No it's not," he disagrees. "I have no right to keep you from your dream and being successful." He stands there for a few more moments, forgetting about his knee, and just rubs her back and strokes her hair to calm her down. Eventually, he hears her breathing become steady and he leans back a little. She's asleep in his arms, the only thing keeping her upright is his grip. He smiles a little and picks her up, bringing her to the couch. He takes the blanket she used on him earlier and tucks her in. He places a gentle kiss on her forehead and walks to the door. "I love you," he whispers, and closes the door.

* * *

It's six o'clock the next day, and Austin's knee is better, just a little bruise. He hasn't spoken to Ally all day, but he wrote a short speech to say goodbye and wish her luck in New York since he knew she was coming. He didn't want to let her go, but when he was texting Dez he was given the best and worst advice: if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

She'll come back to him, he hopes.

It's only ten minutes until Jimmy kicks off the party and his album is officially sold in stores. He's walking around greeting people with Trish while Dez stuffs his face at the shrimp buffet. He sees her with Lester near the back but keeps his distance, deciding it's best not to upset her more than he already has, which is far more than anyone should ever upset Ally.

He really does love her though, and it kills him that she thought otherwise last night. He has quite possibly the worst timing in the world.

"Austin, you ready?" Jimmy approaches him suddenly.

He looks up and grins. "Ready. But is it possible that I can say a few words first before I perform?"

"I don't see why not," Jimmy replies easily.

"Thanks."

He turns to Trish and tells her it's time and to get Dez. She hurries off in a random direction as Jimmy introduces everything.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he says. "I want to introduce to you my newest superstar who's debut album just dropped: Austin Moon!" There's a chorus of applause as Austin gets on stage with his guitar.

"Thank you everybody," he greets cheerily. "I want to thank Jimmy for signing me. I'm really lucky to be working with him. But I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my friends, Dez, Trish and Ally." He looks in her eyes when he says this. "I wouldn't know Jimmy without Trish, I wouldn't have a video without Dez and I wouldn't have _anything _without Ally. For the last seven months, Dez and I have had the honour to know and grow close with the girls, who mean so much to me. And Ally, my songwriter, my partner and my best friend, has become so imperative in my everyday life. I don't know what I'd do without her." He sees her eyes watering, but he's not sure if she's happy or angry. Maybe both. "But she's just been accepted in to a really cool music school," he tells the audience. "And I'd be the worst friend in the world if I asked her to stay because of me. So Ally, I want you to know that I meant every word I said to you last night, and I'm going to try to be independent now. But no matter what happens, I'll be there for you, even if that means hopping on a flight to New York at four in the morning, or picking you up from the Miami airport at four in the morning because you miss us and wanted to come home. I'll be there. And when you come home, I'll take you to the animal reserve Pickles is at, and I'll sit with you all day there, with that goose, just so I can sit next to you." She's bawling now, he notices. "There really isn't any way I can make it without you, but I'll try, because you deserve that. Everyone, give it up for Ally."

The audience roars in cheers and applause, some of the people actually crying themselves. Ally is beaming up at him, her makeup running a little from the waterworks.

* * *

The party is over after a good three hours of dancing and music. She hasn't been able to get him alone to talk to him but she plans on doing it as soon as possible.

She sees him as he waves goodbye to the Jimmy and she walks up to him quietly. She taps him on the shoulder and he turns around, startled. "Hi," she whispers.

"Hi," he replies awkwardly. "When's the flight?"

"Two hours," she replies.

He just nods in acknowledgement.

"So," she says.

"So," he copies.

"I, uh... I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted last night. This morning. Whatever. I shouldn't have hit you," she says sadly. "I was way out of line."

He shakes his head. "I shouldn't have blurted out that I loved you. I just kind of thought it would make you stay and that was wrong of me. I mean, I meant it, but it was a totally inappropriate time and setting to say it and I-"

She leans up and cuts him off with a kiss. "You're right. It was totally inappropriate. But I forgive you."

He's grinning sheepishly now. "Good." Then he sighs. "But you're still leaving."

"No," she says. "I decided that I couldn't go. I need you. You need me. I can't go."

"No, Ally, don't give up your dream for me," he persists. "That's not fair."

"I'm not," she tells him. "I realized that this – all of what we've accomplished - is what my dream is. I've always thought it had to start at MUNY. But it starts and ends with you. And I know that now. I don't want to live apart."

"Really?" he smiles, tears threatening to spill. They've cried a lot in the last two days, he notices.

She kisses him once more as confirmation. "Really. Besides, I don't imagine I'd do well with long-distance relationships," she adds.

It takes a moment for what she's saying to click, but it finally does and he grins to the moon and back. "Me either."

"We're still going to go see Pickles right?" she wonders a few moments later.

"We can go every day if it means you're staying."

"Good."


End file.
